Today's family calendar is chock full and as the church, we should be helping families find rest and connection, not just add another thing to their impossibly full calendar. Here are some tips and filters to decide if your ministry event is worth the Save the Date.

It's no secret that families are busier than ever. You probably already know this on a deeply personal level as you check your calendar daily, looking to schedule in the kids dentist appointment, let alone your own, but you have one child's ballet class, the other has soccer, both need a remake swim class because your children were home sick last week, and oh yeah, don't forget that bill is due tomorrow, as well as the birthday party this Saturday for a boy in your child's class, and is the whole family going or can your husband take the other two kids? Don't forget the gift! What in the world would a six-year old boy like? And what the heck are you going to have for dinner tonight? Did you remember to take out the chicken from the freezer? Oh, and don't forget your actual 9:00-5:00 job that is looking more like an hour here, two hours there job that pays for all these activites, food, and doctor visits...
Did you feel stressed and likely remember that one forgotten yet seemingly important task on your to-do list? If your brain works anything like mine, it's an endless hamster wheel of all that is involved in keeping the family moving and functioning on all cylinders. But then on top of all this (somewhat organized) chaos, your church will then throw in the random family movie night or potluck, and even though you all would like to go to support the ministry and see friends, it is the easiest thing to let go of from the calendar because you haven't had a weekend to rest at home all month.
Now if you are involved in that church kids and family ministry, maybe even at the helm of scheduling and organizing these various family fun events you may have reverted to a familiar way of thinking and assume, "well who wouldn't want to come to this potluck! It's low pressure and a great way for everyone to gather! Let's do it!" and quickly pencil in the date and start promoting. Yet when the day comes only five families come out and they always seem to be the same five families who, by the way, also serve by teaching on Sunday mornings.
I have been there, and it can feel defeating and even like a waste of time. Now, I don't think that's completely true as we should serve our kids and their families as if they were the only ones, but it does beg the question of what are we may be doing wrong as a ministry that families don't prioritize our events? Are we possibly, maybe unintentionally adding to the family stress when really we should be helping to relieve it?
Family ministry shouldn't be bogging down the family with more things on their to-do list just for the sake of appearing to be an active church body. But rather the church should provide opportunity for families to connect while at the same time equip and grow parents and children alike in their faith journeys. When we consider the role of parents in the family it is not simply to keep their children stimulated and busy but instead to guide their children through the world and instill their family values. As believers, I don't know a parent who doesn't long and pray for their child to grow up knowing Jesus as their Savior and then pass on their faith values to their own children. The church's role is then to come alongside these families to provide resources, ideas, opportunities, and knowledge so that when they go about their busy days God is unmistakably noticable in each thing they do and provide opportunities to discuss and grow together in the car, dinner table, playing and wherever they find themselves.
Now, this isn't to say that these events can't be fun or even routine. For example at our church the kids Christmas program is a highly anticipated event as parents long to see their kids singing sweet songs and reading familiar passages about the birth of Jesus. Even though this is a sweet event that holds more nostalgic memories, and I for one am honored to provide that for families, I also make sure to take the opportunity to give sound teaching on the importance of Christmas through the songs we sing.
As you consider the ministry events you have planned or would like to plan, here are three filters to run through to see if your event can make the cut for the larger, highly respected all-church calendar:
How does it involve the whole family?
Is it a kids only focused event or can parents and even siblings join in too? Both are good and even necessary but make sure to always keep parents in the loop. Kids ministry is not a babysitting service, but rather a program or event that helps support their spiritual growth of a child and can help provide discussions and activities at home to continue that development.
What are the faith implications that can be learned and experienced?
Sometimes ministries do just need fellowship and relationship focused events, but we can rest easy because this is also biblical. Reinforce this concept to the families you serve - that this journey and life is not meant to be done in isolation but rather alongside others in the body of Christ. However, on the flip side, can your event help teach families about our Christian callings - service projects and missions, worship, prayer, sacraments. What can we provide to our families to help them grow and for parents to feel confident in going to the next step in guiding their kids at home after the event? Sometimes that's a sense of belonging in the church body, a take home of activites, guides for Lent and Advent, the opportunity to give generously both time and money, to sing songs and pray together and guides on how to do that at home as well. Take time to consider the application your families can carry home, both physically and metaphorically.
What is the duration of the event?
Think through carefully what time and day this event will happen. Keep into consideration the culture you live in and the schools/activities your kids and families are involved in. Don't place an event on a day you know will not work, but simply because cultural norms seem to suggest that's when those kind of events happen (ahem, ahem, Wednesday evening). Also consider the time commitment from your families - is it just a couple of hours one time, or is it a couple hours for a week, or even a prolonged six-week study? If you're unsure I have also crowd sourced and taken polls particularly among my volunteers who have kids in the ministry and they help guide what days and times work best.
For example, due to my church's location in a busy city and our families living in very different places in that city and outer suburbs I quickly learned that mid-week events are a no go because of horrible traffic. Saturday events are OK for big or longer events, but the best for our ministry is Sunday after church and I always provide lunch. We also do not have any week-long VBS because our kids are in two different school calendars; some being in the Guatemalan system which runs January-October, and others in the American system which is your typical August-June schedule. I have toyed with the idea of a December VBS but only for one to two days, however with the holidays this also complicates the family calendar. For these reasons we rely heavily on our Sunday morning activities with only a few yearly events thrown into the mix.
I hope this helps you consider what is really important to your ministry and what is just fluff. Always take your events to God and pray over them and I'm certain He will show you which way to go.
What are some events you host that have been big successes in your ministry setting?
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